How to Survive Summer Without Losing Your Mind (or Your Joy)
Summer is supposed to be the season of slowing down, making memories, and enjoying extra time together as a family.
But for many foster, adoptive, and biological families, summer can quickly feel overwhelming. The routines disappear. The schedules change. The snacks never end. The laundry piles up. The house is never quite clean. And somehow everyone is hungry again twenty minutes after they just ate.
In this episode, Jason and Whitney share an honest conversation about navigating summer as foster parents raising a large family. From managing camps, appointments, technology, and chores to handling emotional dysregulation, changing routines, and the unique challenges children from hard places often face, they discuss practical ways to survive the summer season while still enjoying it.
Summer can be especially challenging for children who thrive on predictability. For many foster and adoptive families, the structure provided by school creates a sense of safety and stability. When that routine suddenly disappears, children may struggle with increased anxiety, emotional outbursts, boredom, or behavioral challenges. At the same time, parents often feel pressure to create the "perfect summer" filled with activities, trips, and memorable experiences.
Jason and Whitney challenge that mindset by encouraging families to focus less on perfection and more on connection. Some of the most meaningful memories are often found in the simplest moments: family walks, backyard adventures, jumping on the trampoline in the rain, or spending uninterrupted time together.
In This Episode:
• Why summer can feel more difficult than expected for foster and adoptive families
• The importance of balancing freedom with structure
• How routines create safety and stability for children
• Why boredom can actually be healthy and productive
• Managing technology and encouraging creativity
• Practical tips for camps, appointments, transportation, and scheduling
• Pool safety reminders every parent should hear
• Setting healthy boundaries and protecting your family's peace
• Why children often remember simple moments more than expensive experiences
• How to create meaningful summer memories without exhausting yourself
Our Challenge For You This Week
Take a few minutes as a family and ask a simple question:
What do we want this summer to feel like?
Not what you want to spend. Not what you want to accomplish. Not what everyone else is posting on social media.
What memories do you want to make? What family rhythms do you want to build? What moments of connection do you want to create?
Then choose one simple step this week that moves your family in that direction.
Maybe it's a family walk. Maybe it's a backyard movie night. Maybe it's a tech-free evening. Maybe it's simply being more present with your children.
The most meaningful summers are rarely the busiest ones.
Support Dream Small
If Dream Small has encouraged you in your foster care, adoption, parenting, or faith journey, would you consider supporting the podcast? Your support helps us continue creating conversations that encourage families and shine a light on the realities of foster care.
Support the podcast at: https://www.dreamsmallpodcast.com/support
Invite Dream Small To Speak
Jason and Whitney regularly speak at churches, foster parent groups, conferences, and community events about foster care, adoption, faith, leadership, and building strong families.
For speaking inquiries, contact:
dreamsmallpodcast@gmail.com
Connect With Dream Small
Facebook: Dream Small Podcast
Instagram: @dreamsmallpodcast
YouTube: Dream Small Podcast
Music Credit
"Paradise Found" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons.
Transcript
Don't lose your joy.
Speaker A:Continue to be a kid at heart.
Speaker B:That's good.
Speaker A:I know.
Speaker A:Because we get so caught.
Speaker A:I won't go into it, but we get so caught up in all of the things and we get so caught up in the stress of the moment that we don't enjoy the moment.
Speaker B:Agreed.
Speaker B:I would say mine is lower your expectations.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Welcome to Dream Small where we believe God does big things through the small and everyday faithfulness of his people.
Speaker B:I'm Jason.
Speaker A:And I'm Whitney.
Speaker A:Where family of eight who's fostered, adopted, and stumbled our way through learning that small everyday choices can change lives.
Speaker B:In a world that tells you to chase big, we dare you to dream small.
Speaker A:Because you know what?
Speaker A:It's not about chasing fame.
Speaker A:It's about choosing faithfulness.
Speaker A:Well, welcome back to another episode of.
Speaker B:This is going to be awkward to see us doing our first time doing video.
Speaker B:Whitney's going to keep looking at you guys.
Speaker A:We're recording.
Speaker A:And yeah, I was like, do I look at you or the camera?
Speaker A:Like, who am I talking to?
Speaker A:So sorry if I'm rudely not looking at you guys.
Speaker B:We're making an effort to do some video every episode.
Speaker B:We're trying.
Speaker A:You get to see my first burn of the season.
Speaker A:Check this guy out.
Speaker B:And it's appropriate for what we'll be talking about today.
Speaker A:I did it for this reason.
Speaker B:If you watched our last episode, this episode will not be nearly as polished video wise as our last one.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Thanks, Tony, for that, by the way.
Speaker B:Yeah, he did a good job.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:But this week we are talking about how to survive summer as a foster parent.
Speaker B:As a foster parent or a parent.
Speaker A:Of a large family that doesn't homeschool.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:All the homeschool folks have an advantage.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:What are you talking about?
Speaker A:This is.
Speaker A:You're made for this, right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Losers.
Speaker A:But before we get into that, Jason, what's something that you're grateful for when it comes to summertime?
Speaker B:What am I grateful for?
Speaker B:For summer when it's over.
Speaker B:Fat kids don't do well in heat.
Speaker A:Okay, so the heat, the weather, you're just not a fan.
Speaker B:I am grateful for the King's Royal in July every year.
Speaker A:I know you're looking forward to your hillbilly races.
Speaker B:My hillbilly races.
Speaker B:It's fun to be outside with the kids they really enjoy.
Speaker A:So you don't like the heat in the summer, but you will opt to spend like four or five days straight?
Speaker B:Well, it's.
Speaker A:I'm in the middle of talking here, pal.
Speaker B:It's like two and a half in.
Speaker A:The middle of, like the dead of July in a dirt track.
Speaker B:Yes, that's correct.
Speaker A:I feel like that makes sense.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:I'm glad you understand.
Speaker A:Help me understand.
Speaker A:What are you saying?
Speaker B:What are you grateful for today?
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:What we're talking about, what we're grateful for regarding summer.
Speaker A:If you didn't hear my prompt, I am grateful for the slower schedules.
Speaker A:Our summer mornings already.
Speaker B:We'll see.
Speaker B:You got camps and stuff coming up now.
Speaker B:We'll see if it's actually slower.
Speaker A:True.
Speaker A:Can you just let me bask in, like, this joy piece?
Speaker A:We had a week of it.
Speaker B:It was easier.
Speaker B:Even this past week with nobody in school, it was easier.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Like no one was rushing out the door early.
Speaker B:Like, it's gonna be weird once you're healed up and back with all the kids, have.
Speaker B:And have your game back.
Speaker B:But it's like right now, it's like.
Speaker A:We have a lot of extra help right now still.
Speaker A:And that extra help.
Speaker A:And honestly, maybe that's what I'm thankful for.
Speaker A:Really.
Speaker A:Like having those slow mornings because we have that extra help.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So we get to have those slow.
Speaker B:We've talked about Stephanie quite a few times.
Speaker B:She's a rock star.
Speaker A:Yes, she is.
Speaker B:We made it to episode 51.
Speaker B:That's one thing we can be grateful for.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:How about that?
Speaker A:We like high five on video.
Speaker B:I was looking at some of the stats, and most podcasts don't make it this far.
Speaker B:Yeah, you don't do anything other than show up and talk on the microphone.
Speaker A:Even then we sat down today and you were like.
Speaker A:I was like, so what are you talking about?
Speaker A:You're like.
Speaker A:You were supposed to create the outline.
Speaker B:That's what I saying.
Speaker B:You just sit down and talk.
Speaker B:I do everything else.
Speaker A:You do a great job with it.
Speaker B:I say you're gonna post on social media, but you don't do that anymore either.
Speaker A:I try.
Speaker A:I try again.
Speaker A:I'm too busy enjoying summer.
Speaker B:You know what Yoda says, there's do or do not.
Speaker B:There is no try.
Speaker A:Well, I'm not saying I do it.
Speaker A:I'm saying you do a great job.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:I try.
Speaker B:Okay, let's go.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker B:Surviving summer as a foster parent.
Speaker B:We wanted to talk about this because when we.
Speaker B:I think it was last summer when we had all the kids in school, and all of a sudden they were here.
Speaker B:It was like, holy crap, what do we do?
Speaker A:What do we do?
Speaker A:The we who was working full time or the we who was a stay at home, Mom.
Speaker B:Yeah, both of us.
Speaker B:Because I still have to kind of keep you on track before we get the episode.
Speaker B:One thing that you would tell a foster parent about Summer to help them be successful.
Speaker B:One quick thing.
Speaker B:Not.
Speaker B:Don't go into a long diatribe about what it.
Speaker B:What you mean.
Speaker B:Just one thing.
Speaker A:Don't lose your joy.
Speaker A:Continue to be a kid at heart.
Speaker B:That's good.
Speaker A:I know, because we get so caught.
Speaker A:I won't go into it, but we get so caught up in all of the things, and we get so caught up in the stress of the moment that we don't enjoy the moment.
Speaker B:Agreed.
Speaker B:I would say mine is lower your expectations.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Okay, let's go.
Speaker A:I would argue that they kind of go hand in hand.
Speaker B:Yeah, I would agree.
Speaker B:All right, let's roll.
Speaker A:Okay, so you're looking at the camera, too.
Speaker B:I'm just making sure it's working.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Hi.
Speaker B:Remember, I do the editing.
Speaker B:Like, I have to be the one we're done that has to do this.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:I'm just thinking next episode, maybe you sit that side.
Speaker B:I sit on this side of the table, and the camera's right in the middle in there.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Anyway, they don't have to hear that.
Speaker B:That's okay.
Speaker A:So here's the thing, guys.
Speaker B:We're doing a podcast meeting in the middle of.
Speaker A:I'm trying to get us back on.
Speaker B:Track, which is weird.
Speaker A:Summer is beautiful, and it's a blessing, and it is so much fun just for it to be so.
Speaker A:I like the heat, I like the sun, so I love summer.
Speaker A:And for foster parents or parents of large families, I mean, honestly, I'm not saying parents of small amounts of kids don't feel this too.
Speaker A:Let's just be real.
Speaker A:For parents in general, it can feel like controlled chaos.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:I don't know about anyone else.
Speaker A:I cannot speak for any other mamas or dads out there, but I kind of feel like I'm feeding children every 13 and a half minutes and snacks and, oh, well, I wasn't hungry at breakfast, but now I'm hungry Now, which.
Speaker B:Is 20 minutes ago.
Speaker A:It is so much.
Speaker B:Leah, to the point, ate three mini pizzas today for lunch.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And then 10 minutes before.
Speaker A:And then she didn't want to eat dinner.
Speaker A:And then 10 minutes before bed, oh, I'm really hungry.
Speaker A:And that's on us, because we're not like, okay, sit down and eat.
Speaker A:Now.
Speaker A:We're like, you need to gain weight.
Speaker A:So when you want to eat.
Speaker B:Yeah, When Leah wants to eat, eat everything you want.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's a girl.
Speaker A:But I mean, with summer, the house never feels like it's clean.
Speaker A:There's just little messes everywhere.
Speaker A:The laundry piles up.
Speaker A:Sunscreen feels like it becomes a full time ministry.
Speaker A:Like trying to remember, like, oh, that was funny, right?
Speaker B:It was funny.
Speaker A:Trying to remember, like, what child has an appointment?
Speaker A:What child has therapy, camp times and pickups and.
Speaker A:I mean, we're coming up on a week where we have two kids in two different camps.
Speaker A:And there's morning camps and afternoon camps, but then three hours in between camps that are actually during nap times, which is really not ideal for the little kids to be going.
Speaker A:But it's just like, it's gonna be okay.
Speaker B:They're gonna have to learn to.
Speaker A:We're okay, right?
Speaker B:They don't nap anymore anyway because they're all a bunch of terrorists.
Speaker A:There's swim lessons.
Speaker A:And my pro tip would be if you have a pool and if you have the capability, have someone come to your house to do swim lessons.
Speaker A:We've done that several years and it has been help.
Speaker B:Some of the lessons weren't the best.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:But it was better than nothing, I guess.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:All right, let's dig into it.
Speaker A:Yeah, I just talked a lot.
Speaker A:What do you want to say?
Speaker B:Keep going.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:You just basically told me I have nothing to add to this episode at the beginning.
Speaker B:So apparently I'm just here to talk.
Speaker A:You're here to talk because I put together this beautiful outline for my good looks.
Speaker B:That's what I'm here for.
Speaker A:So here's the thing.
Speaker A:Summer feels different.
Speaker A:As a parent, summer feels different for foster care.
Speaker A:All of a sudden, the structure that you've created throughout the school year goes out the window.
Speaker A:And I know when it comes time for the school year to start again, I am so thankful for that routine and that structure.
Speaker A:But all of a sudden, it's summertime.
Speaker A:There's more idle time.
Speaker A:There's more emotional dysregulation.
Speaker A:If you have kids who trigger one another, we have a lot of them.
Speaker A:There's a lot more of that.
Speaker A:There is trauma behaviors that increase because kids don't have their schedules and their regular routines.
Speaker A:Visit schedules can change.
Speaker B:I would.
Speaker B:You know, one of my.
Speaker B:Just as a casual observer of summer, since what I see doesn't count, is I would say you have to balance structure with lowering your expectations.
Speaker B:Because all of our.
Speaker B:All kids need structure kids.
Speaker B:Kids from foster care need that additional structure just because of all the trauma they've been through.
Speaker B:If you're able to build some type of structure like, hey, feeding time is between.
Speaker A:Feeding time.
Speaker A:Like we're on the farm and they're cows.
Speaker B:Yeah, feeding.
Speaker B:Well, when you have six kids, it's feeding time.
Speaker B:Like, hey, morning feeding time is between 8 and 9.
Speaker B:Midday feeding time is noon.
Speaker B:Not rigid where if your schedule gets disrupted, it's ruinous, but just enough.
Speaker B:And also for foster kids, particularly if this is their first time going into summer, this could be unsettling to them because it's gonna be the first.
Speaker B:Like, what's happening?
Speaker B:The routine I had learned that I had become safe and comfortable with is now gone.
Speaker B:So what now?
Speaker A:And truly less structure for kids can create more anxiety.
Speaker B:Yeah, like the more anxiety for me.
Speaker A:All of our kids thrive on knowing the and what's happening.
Speaker A:And even days of summer, we sit and have a little family meeting and talk about what that day is going to look like and what we're going to do because, yeah, it helps everyone.
Speaker A:And then honestly, we have certain kids who will ask me the Same question in 20 different ways within 15 minutes about what we're going to do today.
Speaker B:Multiple.
Speaker A:So it helps my stress level too, like just putting it all out there and figuring it out.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But yeah, I think, you know, something for our listeners to remember is that summer freedom for one child could absolutely feel like an emotional roller coaster for another child.
Speaker B:Some kids can't handle freedom foster, biological or anyway.
Speaker B:And when they have that more freedom also causes them to get in trouble sometimes.
Speaker B:But yeah, that's a good, that's a good quote.
Speaker A:And on the other side of that, boredom breeds creativity.
Speaker B:When we have done tech free days, dude, all of a sudden our kids become.
Speaker A:We did a tech free month last summer and that was.
Speaker A:Or was it two summers ago?
Speaker A:It was the whole month of June and it was the most amazing thing ever.
Speaker A:Like zero tech.
Speaker A:And they were so creative.
Speaker A:Like, even if I'll just do a tech free day, they get so creative and they actually get along better.
Speaker B:They do.
Speaker A:They really do.
Speaker A:So I would say helping kids be bored and encouraging boredom is actually a good thing.
Speaker B:Kids need to learn to be.
Speaker A:But then again, you're also not providing that structure.
Speaker A:You're kind of maybe build in boredom time.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And the day down times where you're not go, go, go.
Speaker B:Hey, for this hour, you're allowed to do what you want, but no tech, right?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And by no means are we pros at any of this.
Speaker A:This is just.
Speaker B:Everybody knows.
Speaker B:Everybody knows we're not pros of any of the experience.
Speaker B:And you know, one thing that does really Stink about the summer freedom is bedtimes because it stays almost daylight to.
Speaker A:Nine where we live.
Speaker B:Where we live.
Speaker B:And it's so annoying.
Speaker A:I mean, in a couple of weeks it's going to say daylight till o'.
Speaker B:Clock.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker B:Like, we have to do fireworks at 10, 15 and 4th of July because it doesn't get in our kids.
Speaker A:That makes it tricky when a lot of our children wake up really early.
Speaker A:No matter what.
Speaker B:No matter what.
Speaker B:Well, early we mean 6:30.
Speaker A:We can't like stay out late with them and have a fire.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And just enjoy fireflies.
Speaker A:And we can, but then we end up really banging our heads the next morning when everyone's up and ready to go at 6am yeah.
Speaker A:And we still have a baby who doesn't sleep very well.
Speaker A:So we still, unfortunately, are struggling on the sleep train also.
Speaker A:Isn't it great?
Speaker B:Yeah, it's super.
Speaker A:Someday we're gonna get sleep again and it'll be so good.
Speaker B:I don't know what it'll be like.
Speaker A:It'll be so good.
Speaker B:So summertime freedom leads into.
Speaker B:You need more structure than you think.
Speaker B:Like I kind of alluded to earlier.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Like, you have done a really good job building structure.
Speaker B:Walk everybody through.
Speaker B:Like what you've done to build structure.
Speaker B:At times this structure with.
Speaker B:These are more like bumpers and a bowling alley.
Speaker B:These aren't rigid, I guess those are pretty rigid.
Speaker B:What's.
Speaker B:What's a boundary that's kind of flexible?
Speaker A:A buoy.
Speaker B:I mean, it marks a boundary.
Speaker B:But you can say, screw that boundary and go drive wherever you want.
Speaker B:Maybe a booty is a good example anyway.
Speaker A:Yeah, you're welcome.
Speaker B:You built some really good structure over the past summers to be successful.
Speaker B:Walk people through kind of what your thought process was, what you did with it and all the things.
Speaker A:Well, here's the deal.
Speaker A:I have.
Speaker A:It's been altered.
Speaker A:I know.
Speaker A:I can't even talk.
Speaker A:I'm trying to, like, you're so tired.
Speaker A:I've altered the structure every year and what it looks like and my expectations and truly, every kid, their structure and their expectations looks different.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:I think one very important point.
Speaker B:Fair is not equal with kids.
Speaker B:Like, every kid needs something different.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:Every kid needs something different.
Speaker A:And honestly, every kid wants something different.
Speaker A:And based on what they want and what their motivation is, is how I create their structure and expectation.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So I think that's a big part of it.
Speaker A:But I will say we do limit tech.
Speaker A:I try very intentionally to get them outside as much as possible because they're.
Speaker B:All sunburned today because of that.
Speaker A:It's so great.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker B:Benny didn't sunburn.
Speaker B:He's brown.
Speaker A:He's just like the little golden boy.
Speaker A:Golden babies again.
Speaker A:Is that right?
Speaker A:Is that the right thing to say?
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:Golden boy usually means the favorite, which he is your favorite, everyone.
Speaker A:No, he's like bronze this Coppertone baby.
Speaker A:That kind of golden boy.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:With a cute little butt.
Speaker A:Okay, whatever.
Speaker A:Stop.
Speaker A:Okay, we're done.
Speaker B:Well done.
Speaker A:Okay, so I wouldn't say I have structure as like at 8:00am we do this.
Speaker A:And at 8:15 we do this.
Speaker A:And then at 9:00 o' clock we do this.
Speaker A:It's not like that.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And again, we have six kids varying from 10 months to 12 years.
Speaker A:There's a big window there.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But specifically for the older kids, they need to know that they.
Speaker A:The expectation is that they will not be on technology excessively, that they will do their chores, that they will spend time playing with their other siblings.
Speaker A:They will have to read.
Speaker A:They will do their quiet time, which we're still working on this summer.
Speaker A:They need some direction with that.
Speaker B:During quiet time in the day or quiet time in the Bible?
Speaker A:In the Bible, yeah.
Speaker A:I don't really care about quiet time during the day as much for them because that can be their tech time for all I care.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like if it's quiet time in the house and little people are napping, like I'm fine if that's your time.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:But that also tends to be our pool time when the littles are napping.
Speaker A:It's a very easy time to jump into the pool with the big kids.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:But I would say, you guys know we divide our family when we say bigs and littles.
Speaker B:Bigs is Leah Laney, our 7 year old, our 10 year old, our 12 year old.
Speaker B:And the littles is the 4 year old, the 2 year old and the 10 month old.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:The ones in diapers versus the ones not.
Speaker B:And the one, the middle one.
Speaker B:Or the two.
Speaker B:Nyla and Bray.
Speaker B:Bray.
Speaker B:We have.
Speaker B:Whitney affectionately has nicknamed them Toddler Town because they share a room and they're.
Speaker B:They'd go full toddler mode a lot in there.
Speaker A:And it's toddler town.
Speaker A:Benny just popped up here and showed us.
Speaker A:He made a 3D print.
Speaker B:Did he?
Speaker A:Toddler Town.
Speaker A:I can't wait to look at it more.
Speaker A:That's gonna be so cool.
Speaker B:Penny likes to pop his head in whenever we record and just be like, what are you guys doing?
Speaker B:And then leave.
Speaker B:It's hilarious.
Speaker A:Okay, so Kind of back backing up guys.
Speaker A:We keep derailing Jason and it's really you.
Speaker A:My biggest tip is that structure, communicate safety to kids.
Speaker A:And even in the summer and even in the freedom have those opportunities for boredom, for unstructured play.
Speaker A:I like to, you know, get things out and set.
Speaker A:Jason and I disagree on this a little bit.
Speaker A:He doesn't think the kids need entertained.
Speaker A:I think they do.
Speaker A:I think they need guidance when it comes to playing and being creative sometimes and kind of getting their juices flowing.
Speaker A:And then you can step back but to get things started.
Speaker B:Yeah, get started.
Speaker B:Not have to be like, hey now guys, we're going to use our red crayon and draw.
Speaker A:I have never gone that far.
Speaker A:But I'll lay out paper along our ten foot dining room.
Speaker B:We should take a picture of that with stencils.
Speaker A:I think you did with stencils and markers.
Speaker A:And then like all the kids will sit at the table and color and.
Speaker A:And it's fun.
Speaker A:And they all do.
Speaker A:It's something they can all engage in the other day instead of swimming in the big pool.
Speaker A:Cause the littles in the big pool can be a lot.
Speaker A:Especially when it's one adult and you.
Speaker B:Can't get in the water.
Speaker A:And I wasn't able to get in the water yet either because of my recovery.
Speaker A:But I took a pretty good size.
Speaker A:It was like a six foot wide baby pool.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And I filled that up with bath soap and we made a lot of bubbles and they had the best time of their lives playing in a little pool with bubbles.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So kind of just like setting them up for success to have fun and do different things.
Speaker A:I would say if you're going to a state park with the intention of using the pool, it has like really cool lights and a diving board and a zero entry water thing.
Speaker A:Call ahead and make sure the pool's open.
Speaker A:Because we had a really great adventure the other day and we ended up not getting to swim.
Speaker A:We had a little picnic and saw the nature center in the state park and then drove the hour home.
Speaker B:So I mean some other things I've observed you do with our kids because like, like I work so I'm not.
Speaker B:You have maintained chores for the bigger kids.
Speaker B:I think that's important that they on summer now they get a little more freedom, a little more lax.
Speaker B:But they also still need to remember both for them now and as adults, you still gotta do work.
Speaker A:Yeah, work is still important that the chore situation has been an ongoing.
Speaker B:We have one kid that embraces chores extremely well and has learned to ask and just go do stuff.
Speaker B:We have another that.
Speaker B:Whatever the complete opposite of that is, that's what she does.
Speaker A:Okay, let's not say he or she because that gives it away.
Speaker B:I don't know what else to say.
Speaker A:Chores are just.
Speaker A:There's a lot of tension around chores.
Speaker A:And we are still trying to figure out just one.
Speaker B:Like that's a problem.
Speaker A:We are still trying to figure out the best rhythm in our home.
Speaker B:We might do a chore draft where they get.
Speaker A:We're talking about it.
Speaker A:We actually started making it last week.
Speaker A:And then I was like, this is getting too complicated for me.
Speaker A:I need to pause and step away and process this with daddy.
Speaker A:And then I'll come back and we'll figure it out.
Speaker B:This is logistics, things.
Speaker B:I need your father.
Speaker A:Like we were doing a chore draft.
Speaker A:But it is important that they still have responsibility in the home, you know, because they're very quick to say, can we do this?
Speaker A:Can we do that?
Speaker A:Can you take me here?
Speaker A:Can you buy this?
Speaker A:Can you buy that?
Speaker A:Like, they don't understand the value of money and that we're a one income household and it's summer and mommy can just take them to do all these things and buy all these things and no activity is cheap.
Speaker A:They want to do.
Speaker B:Today when they went garage sailing, they both came back.
Speaker B:They went and browsed and came back.
Speaker B:They're like, dad, this and this.
Speaker A:Like, okay, go buy it.
Speaker B:Go buy it.
Speaker B:You have the money for it.
Speaker B:They both looked at me and they both.
Speaker B:Like hell.
Speaker B:Then they both decided to go buy it on their own.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And Laney actually bought a toy for her younger kids, which is really sweet.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:That was so thoughtful.
Speaker B:It's a really good toy and it was a great.
Speaker A:It's like a little splash pad for the backyard.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I mean, it's a type of water thing where we can let the little or the four year old and the two year old old actually go out and not be worried about them drowning.
Speaker B:Like, the water is 2 inches.
Speaker A:Actually, you can drown.
Speaker B:I know in theory you can drown in 2 inches, but no, it's not theory.
Speaker A:It's real.
Speaker B:Find me.
Speaker B:Find me data that shows somebody's drowned in two inches of water.
Speaker A:I actually can.
Speaker A:I know someone that did.
Speaker A:I'm not kidding.
Speaker B:We'll have to talk about that.
Speaker B:You went to high school with some really interesting.
Speaker A:He was hunting and he tripped and fell and he literally drowned in a puddle.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Good grief.
Speaker A:So it does happen.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:I'm not saying it's going to happen to our toddlers.
Speaker A:But I'm just saying it is a thing.
Speaker B:Sorry, I didn't mean it like it's impossible.
Speaker B:It's far less likely.
Speaker B:And another thing, for some of your kids that need more structure.
Speaker B:We've mentioned this a couple other times in the context of other stuff.
Speaker B:Give countdowns, give warnings.
Speaker B:Hey, in 10 minutes, we're going to.
Speaker A:Go do this 1,000%.
Speaker B:In 15 minutes, we're shutting down whatever we're doing and we're going to transition to this.
Speaker B:Build buffer times into whatever transitions.
Speaker B:Because some kids, okay, we're.
Speaker B:We're here now, we're over here.
Speaker B:They don't care.
Speaker B:Other kids, poof, that'll set off a nuclear bomb.
Speaker A:I remember I taught you that based on my ABA background.
Speaker A:And I remember I explained to you way back when, it was probably with Benny, and I was like, imagine if you were playing.
Speaker A:You're like, what's that gun game you used to play when you used to play video games?
Speaker B:Like, you mean like before we met?
Speaker B:Yeah, Call of Duty.
Speaker B:So we met.
Speaker B:We've never played.
Speaker A:Like, I was like, but that's what I said.
Speaker A:I said, imagine if you were sitting and playing Call of Duty and I just came and pulled the plug.
Speaker A:You wouldn't handle that well, right?
Speaker A:Kids need that.
Speaker A:They need to know what's coming.
Speaker A:As much as it depends on you give warnings.
Speaker A:I don't care if it's, you know, we're leaving the house in five minutes.
Speaker A:You have two more minutes to do whatever you're doing.
Speaker A:Then you need to go to the bathroom and get your shoes on.
Speaker A:They need warnings.
Speaker A:You need to break it down, even for your older kids, until they can show you that they can handle that on their own.
Speaker A:The same goes for when you go out in public.
Speaker A:You give the kids a warning beforehand.
Speaker A:Not like a mean talking to.
Speaker A:But before we go into a store, whatever child is with me, I let them know the expectation.
Speaker A:If I'm not planning on them getting anything, I say, listen, we are going for this, this and that.
Speaker A:You're going to stay with me and then we're leaving.
Speaker A:Like, or we're going for Millie's birthday present and you are not getting anything.
Speaker A:You need to let them know.
Speaker A:Or if you're going somewhere else, hey, we're going to this playground.
Speaker A:This is your parameter.
Speaker A:You need to stay in this.
Speaker A:And if you don't, we're leaving.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, kids need to know the expectation.
Speaker A:They will not succeed if they don't know the expectation.
Speaker A:Same if you take Them to play in a creek.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, they need to know.
Speaker B:They need to be led.
Speaker A:Yeah, they need to be led.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Like, you can't just expect them to go run amok and then get upset at them if they don't act the right way.
Speaker A:They don't do.
Speaker A:If they do something unsafe, they don't.
Speaker B:Live up to your expectations.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:That you'd never come.
Speaker A:So I'd say summertime.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:But really in general, let kids know the expectation.
Speaker B:Yeah, I think that's smart.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:What's next?
Speaker B:Oh, Summer Sleuther.
Speaker A:Summer.
Speaker A:Sleuther.
Speaker B:Summertime.
Speaker A:Does that mean I like summer?
Speaker B:I don't know what it means since you're the expert of what to do in summer.
Speaker A:I'm not the expert and I don't know anything.
Speaker B:Our nanny, we should have had her on for this.
Speaker A:She was great with summer.
Speaker A:She literally, like, basically planned out lessons for the kids and like theme weeks.
Speaker A:Remember that girl?
Speaker B:You complain about theme weeks.
Speaker B:Now all our kids have.
Speaker B:Imagine Clara.
Speaker B:Of course she'd handle the themes.
Speaker B:We didn't have to do anything.
Speaker A:So with summertime, there's a lot of.
Speaker A:It's a balancing act.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:You're balancing flexibility versus routine.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:You're also balancing fun versus exhaustion.
Speaker A:Because if you go, go, go, go and do all these fun things, guess what's going to happen?
Speaker B:Like crash, crash, crash.
Speaker A:Y' all are going to crash, crash, crash.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:So our kids get mean when they're tired.
Speaker A:They get nasty, angry, tired, all the things.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So you need to be mindful of that.
Speaker A:Build in buffer days or buffer hours.
Speaker A:There is nothing wrong with giving your 4th or 5th graders and an hour of quiet time in the afternoon.
Speaker A:And honestly, for stay at home parents with all the kids all day long, do it for your own sanity.
Speaker A:Like, you need to bring.
Speaker B:And there's nothing wrong with it.
Speaker B:There's nothing wrong with it.
Speaker A:There's nothing wrong with saying, hey, mom's going to sit and read a book for an hour.
Speaker A:You need to do the same.
Speaker B:And our kids aren't on social media, but I'm sure some parents with older middle school and high school kids.
Speaker B:Everybody posts their highlight reel on social media about how wonderful their summer is.
Speaker B:Everybody's like, oh, they're just posting the best five minutes of their day.
Speaker B:Calm down.
Speaker A:Remember that.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:It's literally their highlight.
Speaker B:We're talking to you too.
Speaker B:Adults don't look at other families with all the joy and fun they're doing and be like, oh, man, our summer sucks.
Speaker B:No, there are three minutes that they were able to snap pictures of their kids acting right and not yelling at each other.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Those three minutes was fabulous.
Speaker A:And you know what's awesome is they're kids.
Speaker A:The simplest things.
Speaker A:Bring the greatest amount of the bubble.
Speaker B:Bath and the kiddie pool you did last week.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:They love that.
Speaker A:Well, the fact that the same day I took the kids to an indoor outdoor go kart place with an arcade and a mini golf place and all of that.
Speaker A:We spent a lot of time there, a lot of money there.
Speaker A:We got home and it was storming.
Speaker A:Well, it was heavy raining.
Speaker A:I guarantee the best part of their day was jumping on the trampoline in the downpour.
Speaker B:It was pouring.
Speaker A:Like, it was pouring and they had a blast.
Speaker B:Like, let them be kids.
Speaker A:Let's kids be kids.
Speaker A:Like, that's my goal this summer.
Speaker A:Like, I keep.
Speaker A:When I'm posting stuff, I keep saying, long live childhood.
Speaker A:Like, hashtag, long live childhood.
Speaker A:And I genuinely mean that.
Speaker A:And it's genuinely like the yearning of my soul.
Speaker A:Like, let these kids be kids are.
Speaker B:Forced to grow up so quick now.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I remember last year we were trying to figure out if we had too many, too many expectations on our oldest.
Speaker A:And I was like, gosh, like, she's acting like, like trying to figure out, you know, if we're doing.
Speaker A:If we're pushing too hard, if we're causing a rift.
Speaker A:And then I looked out the kitchen window and I saw her playing with the hose and she drew.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker A:Was it a smiley face?
Speaker A:Like she made a smile?
Speaker A:Yeah, she wrote something on the patio with the hose.
Speaker A:And she came in to tell me about it and she was so excited.
Speaker A:And I was like, thank you, God,.
Speaker B:I needed that little kid.
Speaker A:She's still a kid.
Speaker A:Like, let her be a kid.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:So, yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah, let me.
Speaker B:And for summer, for parents, don't get caught up in trying to make memories in the sense of always having to do things.
Speaker B:Make memories in the context of just spending time with your presence.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's all that matters.
Speaker A:I was just thinking about that.
Speaker A:You know, I think if you were to ask our kids what is one of the things they love to do the most, they would say family walks.
Speaker A:And we don't do them a lot.
Speaker B:I. I don't think they would say that.
Speaker B:I think they would say deep Creek.
Speaker A:I'm talking about stuff that we do here.
Speaker A:Cost anything.
Speaker B:Yeah, they do love family walk.
Speaker A:They like playing board.
Speaker A:They like doing family walks.
Speaker A:Like, they literally want your presence.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:They don't want presence in the form of Gifts.
Speaker A:They do.
Speaker A:They'll always say they do.
Speaker A:What they crave more than anything is your time and your attention.
Speaker A:Because guess what?
Speaker A:The majority of the time, they see mom and dad like this.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like unfortunate.
Speaker A:And for those of you that are listening, I held up my phone.
Speaker A:Like, they see mom and dad with faces in their phones.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And that communicates, I'm not available to you.
Speaker A:But children need to know you are present.
Speaker A:You are completely in tune with them.
Speaker A:You are.
Speaker A:You're here for them.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And if you're not, like, obviously.
Speaker A:But, like, I think maybe that's part of the reason why Benny likes doing chores so much.
Speaker A:Because typically he's doing them with us.
Speaker A:Like, hey, come help me fold this laundry.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:Well, I've also realized, like, they respond and it becomes far less of a huge burden.
Speaker B:Like, for me, growing up, it felt like chores were just.
Speaker B:And I never did them.
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker B:I think we do a good job of not doing that to them.
Speaker B:I mean, the first time they mowed.
Speaker A:The yard, I've had to let go of certain expectations.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:100%.
Speaker B:They don't do it stuff perfectly.
Speaker A:But like, loading the dishwasher the right way.
Speaker A:I mean, come on.
Speaker B:Well, nobody's gonna do that.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Including me.
Speaker A:I know.
Speaker A:I said I've let go.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:The first time they mowed the lawn, like, it looked not great, but they mow the lawn, but they cut the.
Speaker A:Grass, and I just let it go.
Speaker A:And we never went out and fixed it.
Speaker A:We just let it go.
Speaker B:And you know what?
Speaker B:Now it looks a lot better than it did when they first started mowing it in April.
Speaker B:Guess what?
Speaker B:That's what happens.
Speaker B:You learn how to do stuff.
Speaker B:Like, yeah, they're doing a good job.
Speaker B:All right, let's do some quick rapid fracture, rapid fire stuff.
Speaker A:Okay, go.
Speaker B:Can you do rapid fire?
Speaker A:I mean, it sounds like you can't even say it, so you try one.
Speaker B:Thing, just not for summer, but in life in general that has helped us is a shared family skylight calendar.
Speaker A:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker B:They need to sponsor us.
Speaker A:We do.
Speaker A:I've actually looked into it, and apparently they have a lot of requests.
Speaker B:Oh, I'm sure they get tons of affiliate links.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And stuff.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's awesome.
Speaker B:Woody and I shared it.
Speaker A:Highly recommend the investment.
Speaker B:You can put chores on it.
Speaker B:You can put all the.
Speaker B:You can put a calendar stuff for every grocery list.
Speaker B:I mean, our dog has a.
Speaker B:An icon for her if she ever has appointments.
Speaker A:It's every kid every six week appointment to get her bougie haircut.
Speaker B:Yeah, get her haircut.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's awesome.
Speaker B:We.
Speaker B:You can put grocery list on it.
Speaker B:You can have the thing that hangs on the wall and on your phone.
Speaker B:It's fantastic.
Speaker B:I helped you stay organized.
Speaker A:Pre pack a snack bag in the car, keep snacks.
Speaker B:You live that one.
Speaker B:You live that one to the fullest.
Speaker A:I mean, my sister does it like 10 levels ahead of me.
Speaker A:Like, she has Tupperware container bins of like bottled water, bottled Gatorade, whatever.
Speaker B:Smart.
Speaker A:That's actually another Tupperware container bin of like non perishable.
Speaker B:But that's smart for like preparedness too.
Speaker B:Like in case the car breaks down.
Speaker A:Well, it's, you know, all the boys in sports but do that have snack.
Speaker A:I mean, how many times do you get in the car after a playground or flash pad fire?
Speaker A:I'm trying, I'm going.
Speaker A:I'm talking.
Speaker A:And kids are hangry and they're thirsty and I forgot my water and I just need a snack.
Speaker A:Like have that stuff.
Speaker A:And there's a reason I keep snacks in the car.
Speaker B:Snacks everywhere.
Speaker A:When you listen to highly recommend the snacks.
Speaker B:Whitney lives us to her to the.
Speaker A:You would have laughed at how big of a lunch break slash picnic bag slash snack bag.
Speaker A:I packed yesterday.
Speaker B:That was your.
Speaker B:Your bag of puffs that you had to have in both vans just in case.
Speaker A:Well, for our state park trip that didn't actually really happen.
Speaker A:I packed a lot of snacks.
Speaker B:Keep sunscreen, bug spray, like all those emergency snacks.
Speaker B:What's the difference between a snack and emergency snack?
Speaker A:It's like the backup no one knows about.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:I'm going to say pool safety.
Speaker A:Be aware of the color of the.
Speaker B:Swimsuits your kids have for like public.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:If you are at your own personal pool or someone else's house, there needs to be a designated person watching.
Speaker B:When people come to our house when we have more than like, there is.
Speaker A:A life quote, unquote lifeguard on.
Speaker B:I sit and watch like people.
Speaker B:I could.
Speaker B:No, I can't.
Speaker B:I gotta watch these kids.
Speaker B:Like, because all the.
Speaker B:In our experience, everybody gets together, then everybody checks out from watching the kids and nobody's watching the kids.
Speaker B:And that's how drowning.
Speaker A:Because everyone's socializing.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:That's how drowning.
Speaker A:Drowning is a cool quiet.
Speaker B:That's what people.
Speaker A:Tragic event.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:There needs to be someone watching kids.
Speaker A:Obviously.
Speaker A:Public pools.
Speaker A:I would expect that there's a lifeguard.
Speaker A:If you are at a private pool, you make sure that there is at least one person watching.
Speaker B:Sober.
Speaker A:Not sober.
Speaker A:Completely tag out.
Speaker A:Set a 30 minute timer and take turns with adults.
Speaker A:Doesn't matter.
Speaker B:I don't trust other adults on time.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker A:It's definitely one of my top ones.
Speaker A:And make kids take breaks.
Speaker A:Like kids get tired and then like if they're out there for hours and hours, they're going to get exhausted, they're going to get dehydrated, like, you know, adult swim.
Speaker A:I used to hate adult swim at like the public pool, but and I think it was a little bit like overused.
Speaker A:Like you don't need to adult swim every 20 minutes, but an adult swim for like 10 minutes every hour.
Speaker A:Like not a terrible idea.
Speaker B:I bet it wasn't every 20.
Speaker B:I bet it was.
Speaker B:What?
Speaker A:Sure felt like.
Speaker B:I felt.
Speaker B:I bet it was 10 minutes out of every hour.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Good.
Speaker B:Those are good.
Speaker B:Anything else?
Speaker A:I got another one.
Speaker B:Keep going.
Speaker A:Not pool related, but foster care specific related.
Speaker A:Protect your time.
Speaker A:You don't have to say yes to a case manager Coming at 2:00 clock on a Friday afternoon.
Speaker A:If you had plans to go to a state park pool, communicate that ahead of time.
Speaker B:Just don't like, well, or they, if.
Speaker A:They don't communicate it either.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:I actually had someone reach out to me Friday morning and say, hey, can I come over at Friday afternoon at 2 o'?
Speaker A:Clock?
Speaker A:And I said no, we're not going to be here.
Speaker A:And quite frankly, like this is my time with my kids and we're, I'm trying to make a memorable fun summer.
Speaker A:Like we're not sitting around the house for this.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So not to be rude, but protect your time.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Set boundaries.
Speaker A:Yeah, set boundaries.
Speaker A:And don't be afraid about like, don't apologize for that.
Speaker A:I mean don't be impossible to schedule with but like be reasonable.
Speaker B:Along with that, I would also challenge parents.
Speaker B:My next rapid fire thing.
Speaker B:Don't over schedule yourself.
Speaker A:And to go along with that, coordinate transportation when you can.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:If you have more than one, you know, family that you know of going to a summer camp.
Speaker A:Hey, how about we figure out like a way to like do this back and forth to help each other out?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Takes a village.
Speaker A:It takes a village.
Speaker A:Yes, it does.
Speaker B:Go ahead.
Speaker A:Oh, I just did that.
Speaker A:Was I like really rapid fired that one.
Speaker B:Say no.
Speaker B:Yeah, I don't want to say something.
Speaker A:But here's the deal, guys.
Speaker A:You don't get bonus points for exhausting yourself at the end of every day.
Speaker A:Like if you're going to bed at the end of every day completely wiped out and burnout and exhausted you're doing.
Speaker B:Something wrong and you're not doing any favors for you or the kids.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:You're not going to show up good if you're doing that.
Speaker A:Sorry I keep interrupting you.
Speaker B:It's okay.
Speaker A:I'm really good at this, like, rapid fire stuff.
Speaker B:No, you're really good at interrupting me.
Speaker B:I was listening to one of our other episodes because I like to listen to see what we can do better.
Speaker B:And I was like, oh, my gosh.
Speaker B:You incessantly interrupted me on that episode.
Speaker A:Did I really?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:I'm sorry.
Speaker B:It's okay.
Speaker B:I'm used to it.
Speaker A:Sometimes I just have a lot to say.
Speaker B:You always have a lot to say.
Speaker A:So here's the thing.
Speaker A:You guys don't miss the Magic of Summertime.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:I mean, one day I. I'm looking across the street right now, and our neighbors, their two boys are now officially graduated high school.
Speaker B:I remember going to college.
Speaker A:They were little boys coming over to play in our pool when we first moved in.
Speaker A:One day.
Speaker A:And Angie and Andy will tell you one day that chaos ends.
Speaker A:There's no more wet towels.
Speaker A:There's no more sticky counters.
Speaker A:There's no more loud house.
Speaker A:There's no more endless snacks.
Speaker A:There's no more sunscreen lathered everywhere.
Speaker B:It shouldn't be lathered or blathered.
Speaker A:I said lather.
Speaker A:I'm talking like, just right everywhere.
Speaker B:That's the right way.
Speaker A:Everywhere in the house when it shouldn't be.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:You get ticked off when people spray sunscreen.
Speaker A:Oh, I.
Speaker A:Any.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:A bunch of idiots.
Speaker A:It's like, do you want to kill me?
Speaker A:But the thing is, one day we will miss that, right?
Speaker A:Especially in the world of foster care.
Speaker A:We don't know how long we get that child.
Speaker A:This is our chance to change how they view summer and to create those special moments with them.
Speaker A:And I think we really need to heed that and take that and remember,.
Speaker B:Special moments doesn't mean big events.
Speaker B:It means, like, sure, take.
Speaker B:Go to Disney World or go to.
Speaker B:Not Disney World, Kings Island.
Speaker B:I meant to say Holiday World.
Speaker B:Go to Holiday World.
Speaker B:If you're in Indiana, go to.
Speaker B:Go to.
Speaker B:I almost said it again.
Speaker B:Go to Kings Island, Cedar Point.
Speaker B:Sure, do that kind of stuff, too.
Speaker B:But the bath, bubble bath and the kiddie pool in the back, that's a memory.
Speaker B:They'll have.
Speaker A:Clutch.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And that's the thing.
Speaker A:I mean, I love to see when people post on Facebook their summer bucket list and they.
Speaker A:They make them with the.
Speaker A:Their kids.
Speaker A:And some people are so stinking creative and like, they're beautiful.
Speaker A:Like this big banner and art and.
Speaker B:How many kids do they have?
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:They're.
Speaker A:I'm not that.
Speaker B:I bet they don't have six.
Speaker A:Well, I know one that has five and it's really impressive.
Speaker B:You need to set up your.
Speaker A:I know, but I mean, enjoy those little things.
Speaker A:That's what the kids are here for.
Speaker A:Think back to our childhood.
Speaker A:Like, there was nothing flashy, but it.
Speaker A:There was memories made.
Speaker A:And it was in the small things.
Speaker A:It was in catching the fireflies.
Speaker A:It was in just make getting messy, like eating popsicles that melt all over.
Speaker B:What's one of your fun memories of summertime growing up?
Speaker A:Okay, so this isn't specifically even summertime, but my best friend lived down the hill from me and I would always go down to her house to play and I would always stuff my pockets with Oreos just for the walk down.
Speaker B:Snacks.
Speaker B:You've been living it your whole life.
Speaker A:My traveling with snacks started very early.
Speaker B:That's funny.
Speaker B:I remember growing up, they did the 4th of July fireworks were like at our middle school, which is like a mile less than a mile from our house.
Speaker B:We'd always have a big party and have all kinds of people over in the pool and just hanging out.
Speaker B:I remember doing that.
Speaker B:How much fun that was.
Speaker A:That's fun.
Speaker B:And going to Sea World.
Speaker B:We used to go to SeaWorld in Cleveland.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:Cleveland had a Sea World.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:My mom was really good and really intentional about taking days off work.
Speaker A:Both my parents worked full time, so it was tricky.
Speaker A:We were home alone a lot alone during the summer with babysitters.
Speaker A:But we would walk.
Speaker A:I'm not even kidding here.
Speaker A:Literally walk two miles to the community pool before we had our own pool, and then spend the day there and then walk home.
Speaker A:But my mom was also really intentional about taking time off to do day trips, places.
Speaker A:We would go to Monticello.
Speaker A:We went to different caverns.
Speaker A:Just.
Speaker A:Yeah, like, she tried to make the most of our summer just doing what she could when she could.
Speaker A:But it's not even about those big things.
Speaker A:Like, I think we just need to like, scale back and think.
Speaker A:Have a fire out back.
Speaker A:Like put a movie, get a screen, get a sheet, project a movie out back for the kids.
Speaker B:That's a lot of fun.
Speaker A:Yeah, they love that.
Speaker B:Again, we have to start at 10 a.
Speaker A:10Pm it's hard for us.
Speaker B:Fall, we do it well, We've done it like twice, but.
Speaker B:Once.
Speaker B:Twice.
Speaker B:But yeah, we have a projector with a screen and it's.
Speaker B:It's a Lot of fun.
Speaker B:The kids really enjoy it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I think.
Speaker A:I think the biggest takeaway is just to be really intentional about making memories and not just spending money, not doing the big things, not going for, you know, keeping up with the Joneses or impressing Sally and Rob or whoever.
Speaker B:I don't like Sally and Rob.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker B:I don't think I know a Sally.
Speaker A:I worked with one in New England.
Speaker B:My bus driver.
Speaker B:One of my bus drivers growing up was Sally.
Speaker B:She was really sweet.
Speaker A:Me.
Speaker A:And who was Sally?
Speaker A:Mine was Colleen.
Speaker A:And she would say things to us that would not go this days.
Speaker B:I had big, big, big frequency hop here.
Speaker B:I had two bus drivers.
Speaker B:I remember growing up, Sally and Sheila, Both of them were awesome.
Speaker B:They could not have been more opposite one another.
Speaker B:Like, Sally, she was actually the mother of a girl in my grade.
Speaker B:Super sweet, very kind, like, very motherly.
Speaker B:And Sheila had, like, the short, like, blonde, spiky hair, and she was like.
Speaker B:She was awesome.
Speaker B:But it was.
Speaker B:It was.
Speaker B:Yeah, it was.
Speaker B:They were quite.
Speaker B:Anyway, sorry.
Speaker A:That was a big.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:Wrap us up, dude.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker B:You're just like, I'm so tired.
Speaker B:My brain is barely functioning.
Speaker A:Okay, you guys.
Speaker A:So my encouragement leaving this episode, ending this episode is that you do not have to run, create, formulate, whatever.
Speaker A:The perfect summer.
Speaker B:You don't have to.
Speaker B:Have to create a summer camp.
Speaker A:No, you're not a camp director.
Speaker A:You're mom.
Speaker A:You're a dad.
Speaker A:Like, you're an aunt.
Speaker A:You're an uncle.
Speaker A:You're a grandma.
Speaker A:I don't know what you are, but, like, I'm pretty sure most of those listening are not camp directors.
Speaker A:So don't think you have to be.
Speaker A:Don't think you have to impress anyone.
Speaker A:Sit down with your kids and talk about, what do you want to.
Speaker A:Like, how do you want to remember this summer?
Speaker A:Like, what do you want this summer to feel like?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Talk about it.
Speaker A:Come up with a game plan.
Speaker A:Get them involved as much as possible, but don't kill yourself over it.
Speaker A:Keep boundaries.
Speaker A:Protect the peace that's in your home.
Speaker A:Really try to be intentional with just your presence with the kids when you can, and bring them into the work that has to get done so you can work together and play together.
Speaker A:Like, say, hey, if you want to do this with me, great.
Speaker A:I need to do X, Y, and Z.
Speaker A:And I need your help first.
Speaker A:So I really challenge everyone to pick one thing for this summer to focus on.
Speaker A:If you are just, like, at square one and not sure where to start, develop a new family rhythm.
Speaker A:Maybe that's family walks at night.
Speaker A:Maybe that's eating breakfast together or trying a new cooking recipe once a week.
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:Develop one thing.
Speaker A:Do one intentional memory each week.
Speaker A:Just something to fill up your buckets of everyone in the home or create a boundary that protects peace in your home.
Speaker A:I am very passionate about creating boundaries and protecting your peace, both for you and for your kids.
Speaker A:That's what I got.
Speaker A:Do you have anything to add?
Speaker B:Nope.
Speaker B:Those are good.
Speaker A:Okay, you guys.
Speaker B:Well, let me add one.
Speaker B:If you happen to be fortunate enough to be a one family working home, one parent stays home and takes care of the family.
Speaker B:Whatever, whoever that working parent is, make sure you support that parent that is home with all the kids, because that's a lot.
Speaker A:And on the other side of that, be really intentional about not immediately shoving the children onto the working parent the moment they get home and tapping out.
Speaker A:Because that's also not.
Speaker B:You do really good at that.
Speaker A:Well, yeah, that'd be awful of me.
Speaker A:And be like, goodbye.
Speaker B:Well, you.
Speaker B:I remember you did.
Speaker B:I can tell though, when you're like, I need a breath.
Speaker A:Well, sometimes, yes.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like we're human.
Speaker A:Sometimes we're just like, okay.
Speaker B:And you do a really good job of sharing with me what you guys are doing.
Speaker B:Like, even though I can't be there all the time, you do a great job of trying to bloop me in involving you.
Speaker B:All right, wrap us up.
Speaker A:All right, guys, good luck this summer.
Speaker A:Good luck, good luck.
Speaker B:If you're in Indiana, summer's almost over already.
Speaker A:No, no.
Speaker A:But I truly would love to hear if, you know, listening to this podcast, you thought of other things that would.
Speaker B:Have help share with us.
Speaker A:Summer survival tips, things that you love doing during the summer, favorite memories that you've made over the summer.
Speaker A:Little things that you absolutely look forward to every single summer either by yourself, with your spouse, with your kids.
Speaker A:Share them with us.
Speaker A:I want to hear it.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:Cuz I bet on missing out on some really cool things too.
Speaker A:Keep it easy though.
Speaker A:I don't like extra.
Speaker A:Okay, so keep it easy, but please reach out and tell us.
Speaker A:I would to love, love to hear it.
Speaker A:And until next time, you guys, keep dreaming Small.
Speaker A:Thank you for listening to the Dream Small podcast.
Speaker A:If you're listening on Apple Podcasts, please tap that follow button and leave us a review.
Speaker A:It helps other people find my mom and dad's show.
Speaker A:If you're on Spotify, please give my parents a follow and a five star rating.
Speaker A:And wherever you listen, don't forget to share that the show with a friend who needs a little encouragement today.
Speaker A:You can also follow us on social media to stay in the loop.
Speaker A:Instagram, reamsmallpodcast, Facebook, DreamSmall podcast, Twitter or x dreamsmallshow or email us anytime@dreamsmompodcastmail.com we love hearing from you and remember, just dream small.
Speaker A:See you next time.
